Monday, July 30, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Kareoke
On Monday nights when the girls get together at Sue Ellen's, there is kareoke. Now I love to sing. I sing in church (in the pews, not on stage) and I sing in my car. Unfortunately, I sing in the key of me. I have about a 4 note range before it gets bad. Old hymns, I rock because they are all in the same octive just about.
I like Christian, Country, and Top 40 music. A lot of it I can sing to and then they get too high for me and I just can't make it and that screws it all up.
So I want to kareoke on Monday nights. I know it's not a production, but I at least want to be decent. An appropriate song that maybe I will sing....Brad Paisley.
Hugs, Candi
I like Christian, Country, and Top 40 music. A lot of it I can sing to and then they get too high for me and I just can't make it and that screws it all up.
So I want to kareoke on Monday nights. I know it's not a production, but I at least want to be decent. An appropriate song that maybe I will sing....Brad Paisley.
Hugs, Candi
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Girls Night Out
B and I went to the Monday Girls Night Out in Dallas this week. I didn't think we were going to make it since B was not feeling good. I think for me she sucked it up and made the trip. She was happy she did.
We had a ball. It was going to be karaoke but a drag show was scheduled also. Lots more people showed up at the bar and it was fun. We got home after 1am (which is really late for us married folks). B paid a VERY nice complement to the girls that she "wanted to see a picture of them in guy mode because they looked like beautiful women". That is about the best thing you can say to a crossdresser.
I didn't sing. I really only sing in the "key of me" so usually not a great idea. B and I had a good discussion on the way home. One of the girls said she was married for something like 10 years but had just told her wife last year. B didn't understand.
We are kind of unique in that B and discovered Candi together and she has blossomed from there. Many crossdressers hide in the closet even from their wives. So I asked her what her very first initial reaction was when I said I wanted to shave my legs and chest. She thought about it for a moment and said "what's next??"
Exactly. As a crossdresser, 1. we don't know what's next. But 2. we do know we love our wives more than anything else and don't want them to have to ask "what's next". And we know what rejection is like and don't want to be rejected by the one we love the most.
Now let me say this....telling your spouse early in the relationship is the BEST thing a crossdresser can do. And here is why. You are keeping a secret if you don't. You are lying to your wife and to yourself by not telling her. For example, you and your wife go on a diet together. Swear to lose 25 pounds each. You have a strict menu. But then you go to work and eat pizza and drink beer. 2 months later you have not lost weight. You never tell your wife. You lied. period.
Now for the wives. Here is what happens inside the minds of your husbands.
"I will tell her but it has to be the right time and this month is not the right time with everything that is going on."
"We are getting married. I'm going to stop crossdressing. I've found someone to fill that void."
"A year of honeymoon and busy preparations to settle down. I can't tell her now."
4-5 years later: I'm too far into this marriage and I love her way to much to lose her. If I tell her she will reject me and will be gone forever. I just can't do that.
On and on it goes. When we get years into the marriage, we can't bring ourselves to the point of possibly losing the one that has not rejected us, even though we have not come out of the closet.
Here is the thing to remember. If you don't tell your spouse, you are both living that lie. She just doesn't know it. You must free her and yourself of that burden and share all of you. Give her grace and pray she reciprocates.
-Candi
We had a ball. It was going to be karaoke but a drag show was scheduled also. Lots more people showed up at the bar and it was fun. We got home after 1am (which is really late for us married folks). B paid a VERY nice complement to the girls that she "wanted to see a picture of them in guy mode because they looked like beautiful women". That is about the best thing you can say to a crossdresser.
I didn't sing. I really only sing in the "key of me" so usually not a great idea. B and I had a good discussion on the way home. One of the girls said she was married for something like 10 years but had just told her wife last year. B didn't understand.
We are kind of unique in that B and discovered Candi together and she has blossomed from there. Many crossdressers hide in the closet even from their wives. So I asked her what her very first initial reaction was when I said I wanted to shave my legs and chest. She thought about it for a moment and said "what's next??"
Exactly. As a crossdresser, 1. we don't know what's next. But 2. we do know we love our wives more than anything else and don't want them to have to ask "what's next". And we know what rejection is like and don't want to be rejected by the one we love the most.
Now let me say this....telling your spouse early in the relationship is the BEST thing a crossdresser can do. And here is why. You are keeping a secret if you don't. You are lying to your wife and to yourself by not telling her. For example, you and your wife go on a diet together. Swear to lose 25 pounds each. You have a strict menu. But then you go to work and eat pizza and drink beer. 2 months later you have not lost weight. You never tell your wife. You lied. period.
Now for the wives. Here is what happens inside the minds of your husbands.
"I will tell her but it has to be the right time and this month is not the right time with everything that is going on."
"We are getting married. I'm going to stop crossdressing. I've found someone to fill that void."
"A year of honeymoon and busy preparations to settle down. I can't tell her now."
4-5 years later: I'm too far into this marriage and I love her way to much to lose her. If I tell her she will reject me and will be gone forever. I just can't do that.
On and on it goes. When we get years into the marriage, we can't bring ourselves to the point of possibly losing the one that has not rejected us, even though we have not come out of the closet.
Here is the thing to remember. If you don't tell your spouse, you are both living that lie. She just doesn't know it. You must free her and yourself of that burden and share all of you. Give her grace and pray she reciprocates.
-Candi
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Shopping At The Mall
B and I went on a date last night. I took her to Rudy's BBQ which she has been craving. We knew Rudy's before Rudy's was cool. It was an out of the way BBQ joint outside of San Antonio. That was 20 years ago. Now they have many locations and I took her to Denton for BBQ. Afterwards we went to Grapevine Mills Mall.
If you have never been to Grapevine Mills Mall, it's a nice place to shop. Basically many "outlet" type stores (and other stores) in a mall setting. It was late and we didn't have much time. One of the last stores we went to was JCPenney.
Now I love JCP. They have some great clothes and good prices. I think their new pricing strategy is great, although I hear the execution was very poor.
We briefly look at clothing then went to lingerie. We found some pretty items (A red satin nightie we were looking for a long time ago also). B was looking for some back support items. I found corsets. I've been wanting a corset for a while and now I found some discounted. Oh stop my beating heart.
I took the 1st one to the dressing room. I got a look from the check girl, but just ignored it. That one was WAY too small. So I went out and got a bigger size. It was right at 9pm and the store was closing. I asked to try it on right quick. "It is closing time." She didn't look happy. I politely asked to try it on right quick. She relented.
Well I could get the hooks done in the front, but I could not twist it to the back. I figure B would have to help me with it. Actually I just need to lose weight. So I decided against it right now. Maybe 20 lbs later.
I was dishearten with the response from the check lady. It was late so I understand that, but this could be a sale for JCP and they for sure need it. Hopefully I will get better response next time.
-Candi
If you have never been to Grapevine Mills Mall, it's a nice place to shop. Basically many "outlet" type stores (and other stores) in a mall setting. It was late and we didn't have much time. One of the last stores we went to was JCPenney.
Now I love JCP. They have some great clothes and good prices. I think their new pricing strategy is great, although I hear the execution was very poor.
We briefly look at clothing then went to lingerie. We found some pretty items (A red satin nightie we were looking for a long time ago also). B was looking for some back support items. I found corsets. I've been wanting a corset for a while and now I found some discounted. Oh stop my beating heart.
I took the 1st one to the dressing room. I got a look from the check girl, but just ignored it. That one was WAY too small. So I went out and got a bigger size. It was right at 9pm and the store was closing. I asked to try it on right quick. "It is closing time." She didn't look happy. I politely asked to try it on right quick. She relented.
Well I could get the hooks done in the front, but I could not twist it to the back. I figure B would have to help me with it. Actually I just need to lose weight. So I decided against it right now. Maybe 20 lbs later.
I was dishearten with the response from the check lady. It was late so I understand that, but this could be a sale for JCP and they for sure need it. Hopefully I will get better response next time.
-Candi
Tink
My daughter gave me something and it made me think of crossdressers and their significant others. She went to the doctor last week. When they got home, she gave me a sticker from the doctors office of Tinkerbell. If you don't know from previous posts, Tinkerbell is my favorite.
I'm proud of her. My daughter doesn't want to be a part of Candi's life, but she sees it is my life and is supporting. I think this is what some other CDs have in their wives. The "accept" the crossdressing, but don't want to be a part of it. Of course that is better than not accepting at all.
From the CDs point of view, we would love a supportive, loving wife that totally accepts our CDing completely. Let me tell you that "total acceptance" of anything is impossible.
Where I am at with my daughter is a good place. She has not totally rejected me for this and we can move forward. Hopefully more acceptance will come soon, but if not, I am good right here.
-Candi
I'm proud of her. My daughter doesn't want to be a part of Candi's life, but she sees it is my life and is supporting. I think this is what some other CDs have in their wives. The "accept" the crossdressing, but don't want to be a part of it. Of course that is better than not accepting at all.
From the CDs point of view, we would love a supportive, loving wife that totally accepts our CDing completely. Let me tell you that "total acceptance" of anything is impossible.
Where I am at with my daughter is a good place. She has not totally rejected me for this and we can move forward. Hopefully more acceptance will come soon, but if not, I am good right here.
-Candi
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Hot Tub Time Machine
I watched Hot Tub Time Machine
yesterday. OMG this movie is funny. It is NSFW and if you don't like raunchy humor, you won't like it. Otherwise, you will love it. :o)
The premise of the movie is 4 guys whose lives really are in the toilet go on a vacation together and when they get in the hot tub, it takes them back to 1986. They quickly realize they cannot change anything because of the The Butterfly Effect (Infinifilm Edition)
. But they just as quickly realize they want to have some fun and make some changes. They make a few changes, one of them stays behind in 1986, and they all live happily ever after.
I started wondering if I would want to make changes if I could go back. And if I did make changes, would it completely change my life today. Probably so. I am buried under a mountain of student financial aid. It's a 2nd mortgage. I didn't get a lot out of my education, however, I did get a wonderful wife out of college. If I changed the school and went to a community college, then the debt would be minimal. But I would not have met B and we would not have a beautiful daughter. I could have stayed with some earlier jobs and gone up in the company, but I would not have had the experience of preaching. I could have stayed a preacher in the Methodist church and worked and plodded through it, but then I would not be at my current church which is so much better than any of the past churches we have been members of.
Life right now is not completely easy. We really don't make it month to month and Peter gets robbed a lot to pay Paul. But we have shelter that is air conditioned. We have transportation. We have our health. I have a wife who accepts all of me and I don't want to change any of the past and lose the present.
Blessings.
-Candi
yesterday. OMG this movie is funny. It is NSFW and if you don't like raunchy humor, you won't like it. Otherwise, you will love it. :o)The premise of the movie is 4 guys whose lives really are in the toilet go on a vacation together and when they get in the hot tub, it takes them back to 1986. They quickly realize they cannot change anything because of the The Butterfly Effect (Infinifilm Edition)
. But they just as quickly realize they want to have some fun and make some changes. They make a few changes, one of them stays behind in 1986, and they all live happily ever after. I started wondering if I would want to make changes if I could go back. And if I did make changes, would it completely change my life today. Probably so. I am buried under a mountain of student financial aid. It's a 2nd mortgage. I didn't get a lot out of my education, however, I did get a wonderful wife out of college. If I changed the school and went to a community college, then the debt would be minimal. But I would not have met B and we would not have a beautiful daughter. I could have stayed with some earlier jobs and gone up in the company, but I would not have had the experience of preaching. I could have stayed a preacher in the Methodist church and worked and plodded through it, but then I would not be at my current church which is so much better than any of the past churches we have been members of.
Life right now is not completely easy. We really don't make it month to month and Peter gets robbed a lot to pay Paul. But we have shelter that is air conditioned. We have transportation. We have our health. I have a wife who accepts all of me and I don't want to change any of the past and lose the present.
Blessings.
-Candi
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Couples Time
I am a pastor at heart so I will post scriptures and other stuff related. Also, I will write post about relationships as I have before about communication. Well here I go again.
First to the GG. Your CD is watching your every reaction to figure out exactly what you think about the elephant in the room. She is used to hiding this 7 layers down where no one can see her and now she is out. Without meaning to, your facial expression or wording in a single sentence will destroy 2 days of good vibes between you.
Don't take this as me bashing on you. I'm not. It is what it is. Just realize that you will probably have to supress more than you first realized.
To the CD. Get the chip off your shoulder and BE with your GG. Stop being a selfish prick (no pun intended) and realize they want to be a part of your lives (get it, HA). Yes there are GGs that don't want to have anything to do with your fem side. i'm not talking to or about them. For those GGs who are accepting in whatever little or big way, give them props. They are stepping out just as much as you are.
If you want more specific advise, B and I are both more than happy to try and help.
Blessings
-Candi
First to the GG. Your CD is watching your every reaction to figure out exactly what you think about the elephant in the room. She is used to hiding this 7 layers down where no one can see her and now she is out. Without meaning to, your facial expression or wording in a single sentence will destroy 2 days of good vibes between you.
Don't take this as me bashing on you. I'm not. It is what it is. Just realize that you will probably have to supress more than you first realized.
To the CD. Get the chip off your shoulder and BE with your GG. Stop being a selfish prick (no pun intended) and realize they want to be a part of your lives (get it, HA). Yes there are GGs that don't want to have anything to do with your fem side. i'm not talking to or about them. For those GGs who are accepting in whatever little or big way, give them props. They are stepping out just as much as you are.
If you want more specific advise, B and I are both more than happy to try and help.
Blessings
-Candi
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