Human Rights and Activism

I have long said that Facebook and Twitter are not real activism.  As Brian Solis says in this video it's slactivism.  That is, people believe that retweeting or putting something on Facebook of "I support..." or "...is horrendeous" is doing something.  In most instances, it's not.  You have to get involved and give. 

Lastly, It's not only women being exploited sexually (or other ways), but woman are used more. This does need to change. -Candi

Fashion and Fitting In

This is a good article about fashion (really fashion over 50 but works no matter what).  She says "interesting … we're all broadly made out of the same stuff, but what we look like on the outside is what identifies us to everyone else."

As a crossdresser, I want to "fit in" with other women when I am out, in whatever setting I am in.  Basically be invisible.  HOWEVER, there is that part of all of us that wants to show off and be recognized and noticed for who (what) we are. 

Many crossdressers I know just be who they want to be...and that's the way it should be.


-Candi

Care For Your Wig

If you are like many girls, head and feet are very important.  Therefore, you are "always" looking at shoes.  I am always looking for pretty shoes that are in my size.  I actually look at other shoes too, and just wish.  But at 6'4", I know I have big feet.   As for shoes, find 4 pairs that fit and you love.  Sandles, heels, boots, flats, and another pair of heels ;o)

As for the other end (your head not your ass), you want a GOOD wig.  YOu don't have to spend $150+ for a wig.  Anybody that tells you that is screwing you...and not in a good way.  Under $100 is an easy match for a wig.  Don't buy a wig from a halloween costume shop.  It will look like a costume and it won't last but a few wears.  Unless of course that is what you are wanting.  One of the girls in my group dresses anime.  It's not for me, but works for her.

Go to a wig shop if you can.  You can buy online, but you may not like it when you get it and have to hassle with sending back (if you can).  As Richard Geer says in Pretty Woman, "stores are not nice to people, they are nice to credit cards."  You might get a bitchy place, but trust me, it's going to be a sure thing in any city.  As the local Tri-Ess group for recommendations if needed.

I didn't stray too far from my natural color.  I have brown hair and the wig I have is a golden color.  Actually the 1st one was black and straight.  It was a goth look.  Not terrible but not what I wanted.  My next wig will probably be brown with some nice highlights.  I want the next one to be straight and longer.  Here is a gorgeous look http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9r6r54T6u1rde8c1o1_500.jpg.  Just not in red for me.  I love red-heads, but not on my head. 

Lastly is care for your wig.  Go to Sally's Beauty or wherever and guy a head to stick it on.  IF you want it put away, I put mine in a coffee pot box.  Fits perfectly.  While you are at Sally's, get some wig shampoo and conditioner.  Here are instructions on washing it and when. http://www.headcovers.com/care_wigs.php

Washing instructions will vary, depending on if your wig is human hair or synthetic.  Most wigs are made of synthetic hair, allowing for the easiest washing and styling.  Determine if your wig is synthetic or human hair and follow the appropriate care instructions below. SYNTHETIC WIGS:  Gently brush the wig thoroughly with a wig brush. Add one tablespoon of wig shampoo to a sink filled with cold water. Immerse wig for one minute and agitate gently. Do not rub. Rinse the wig gently in cold clear water twice or until thoroughly rinsed. Blot the wig gently with a towel. Do not squeeze or wring. Apply conditioning spray very lightly over wig, spraying 10-12 inches from the wig. Allow the wig to air dry on a slender object like a can of hairspray or a shampoo bottle covered with a hand towel.  Styrofoam heads may stretch the cap. Do not use a hair dryer. Air dry only.  You may gently style the wig with your fingertips. Brush wig only when completely dry. Do not allow the wig to dry in direct sunlight. HUMAN HAIR WIGS:  To achieve a natural appearance and unique color variations, all human hair wigs are chemically processed.  To give your wig the longest life, it is very important to use sulfate-free hair care products that are specifically made for chemically processed hair.  To wash your human hair wig, follow these steps: Detangle the wig using a wig brush or comb.  Start at the ends and work upwards to the base of the cap. Rinse the wig in cold water, with the water flowing in the same direction of the hair to avoid tangling.  Do not soak your human hair wig in a basin.  This will cause the hair to tangle and mat together.  Using your fingertips and phosphate free shampoo specifically for human hair wigs, distribute the shampoo evenly throughout the hair. Rinse with cold water to remove shampoo.  Rinse so that the water is flowing in the same direction as the hair.  Remove excess water by gently patting with a towel. Do not wring or squeeze. Condition the wig with wig conditioner, using your fingertips to distribute the conditioner evenly throughout the hair. Remove the conditioner by rinsing with cold water.  To remove excess water, pat gently with a soft towel.  Do not squeeze or wring.  Allow the wig to air dry on a folding wig stand or a tall can of hairspray.

Oh, I know make-up is every important.  Practice, Practice, Practice.  I'm getting slowly better.  So can you. -Candi

Lana Wachowski (previously Larry)

The Wachowski Brothers are great film auteurs.  Their most notable (in my mind) is The Matrix trilogy.  Larry got a sex change (well she is transgendered. We are not clear on the change and it really doesn't matter). 
I like her line in this article in which Lana said, “I chose to change my exteriority to bring it closer into alignment with my interiority. … I know that many people are dying to know if I have a surgically constructed vagina or not, but I prefer to keep this information between my wife and me.” (Larry and his first wife filed for divorce in 2002; under the new identity Lana married another woman.).  Read the article and tell me what you think.

Read more: http://entertainment.time.com/2012/09/10/the-wachowskis-cloud-atlas-at-toronto-unique-and-earthbound/#ixzz26NoQDRxB


Here is directors commentary on the movie.  Lana is (of course) in the middle.  I'm glad she is "out" but really like that she likes her privacy and isn't looking for a lot of attention for her "alignment".  Basically saying "this is the way I am.  deal with it.  I don't have to talk about it.  It just is."




-Candi

Crossdresser and not gay?

I'm watching Weeds on Netflix.  I'm in the 1st season and loving it.  Great show if you have not seen it. In one of the episodes, the ladies are in a PTA meeting discussing one of the teachers.  He was seen looking at shoes in the women's department.  They wanted to fire him.  One of the main ladies spoke up saying "he's gay, not a pedophile." Then the leader made him out to be the pedophile and bad and they voted to fire him.

1.  I don't think most gay guys shop for women's shoes.
2.  I do think he was a crossdresser (unless married then who knows)
3.  Most crossdressers are not gay.

Unfortunately we are seen as gay or pedophiles.  I don't mean unfortunately in the sense that I would be stepping down to be a gay guy or that gays are sub-species.  I mean unfortunately in that we are labeled wrong.  But then again, I really don't want any label.  I'm just me.

Candi

Helping Hand

The CD community we are a part of here in North Texas is wonderful.  We met at Sue Ellen's on Monday (there is a meetup every Monday).  A little drinking (too much), and some kareoke.  We had a blast. 
One girl who is transitioning had lots of advise for me about where to shop and buy a wig, etc.  What was interesting is I didn't really seek out this information.  I'm not saying I am unhappy she was providing direction, but I think in our (because I do stuff like this too) confidence, we like to show what we know. 
I have a rep on my team who is a car guy.  He LOVES to give car information as much as he can.  I have a techie geek that loves to get into the minutia and provide the information back. 
One of the 1st things I said when we started going outside the house was I expected us to become "mentors".  Maybe I'm a little cocky (pun intended).  After being a pastor and being a supervisor over many positions, that might be what I am called to do.  I just take it one day at a time.
So if you are in Dallas on Mondays, stop by Sue Ellen's and have a drink with us.  You will love the experience.

-Candi