I'm not a submissive in girl or guy mode. There are times in "fantasy mode" where B or I will be more submissive. But the chained up, ball-gag, cock lock, licking the boots, being talked down to is not for either of us. And I don't really understand it.
Now don't get me wrong. If that's what you are in to, go for it. I'm not going to judge your sex life (or your life in general unless you are hurting those you should love). I do like some "kinky" stuff (but kink is in the eye of the beholder). I just don't like a lot :o).
I was reading Romans 8 and started thinking about submission. Check this out:
1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. 10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
12 So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”
OK. So a submissive in the lifestyle sense let (wants/needs) someone else to direct their life. When it all comes down to it, a submissive doesn't want to take responsibility. Remember that when I am referring to a submissive here, I am talking about someone who is 100% in it. I'm not sure how you get to a point of needing someone to direct your life 100% like that.
I put the Romans 8 passage up there to give an alternative. While reading this, you may (or may not) have to drop any preconceived notion of what Christianity is. So many people have been hurt in the past by it. Message me with questions and I will be happy to help (as I can). In the passage above, the "flesh" is what the submissive will let guide his life. That's his/hers desires, wishes, loves, thoughts will all be guided by the flesh. Now you can say "it's not the flesh, but my mistress!" Your mistress is your desire of the flesh. Don't try to put it off.
Here is what I want you to see though. Vs 6 If the flesh is directing you (meaning someone else) then you are really hostile to God and cannot subject yourself to God. You can only have 1 master.
HOWEVER, if you are directed by the Spirit (meaning God), you are alive in ways you never expected. Here are the differences between flesh and spirit. Flesh=death. Spirit=life. Flesh=hostility. Spirit=love. Most important in this train of thought. Flesh=subjecting yourself to another. Spirit=submission to God and ultimately being free. Oh what an awesome paradox.
That love, that need, that desire and want you are craving is found in God. If you are under submission of the Spirit, you are a son/daughter of God. It's not about sex but about LIFE. And if you are an adopted son or daughter, you can cry out "Abba Father" and he will open his arms to you.
It might be easy for you to turn away from the one you are in slavery to, but it might be hard. No matter. You can't just leave it, because it will leave a big "sub" hole in your heart. You have to fill that with something. That something is the love of God through Jesus Christ.
Shalom
-Candi
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